The Heroes of Haven
by Kerowyn6
Summary: It appears that Zeus does not approve of Percy Jackson taking airplanes, even for the perfectly innocent reason of going on holiday to Germany. So that's how it happens that the Seven get stranded in rural Ireland with no where to go but the ominous manor in front of them. As for Artemis Fowl, he's not thrilled with a group of teenagers at his front door asking for directions...
1. Irrevelant Weather

**Hello everyone! I appreciate review, and if you review his story I will make a point of reviewing one of yours! **

**CONCRIT. IS. GREAT! I'm always looking to improve my writing. And yes, I know my details are lacking. I'm working on it, but I'd appreciate some tips as to how to improve.**

**So, one point I wish to make:**

**I do not believe Percy Jackson is the best-written literature out there. I believe that Terry Pratchett is much better. (But as a Pratchett fan it's hardly fair to ask me to compare Pratchett against other authors. I mean, Sir Terry would never lose. :P) However, I admire Rick Riordan for getting millions of children interested in greek mythology. I also think that the idea of modern gods is imaginative and interesting and one of the best fiction ideas of the 21****st**** century.**

**So, here's to inspiring writers!**

On the day that two worlds collided, it was foggy. Mist drifted over the ground, but not properly eerie mist; it was a clingy, irritating mist that lacked the standard attributes of Fateful Day Weather. A few indistinct figures trudged miserably down the path that led to the nearest town.

A group of teenagers became visible through the soup of fog. They were talking quietly between themselves and making expansive gestures to explain that yes, it was Percy's fault that they were stranded in the middle of Ireland with no means of communication.

"I mean, you could have told us that Zeus didn't like it when you took airplanes!"

"I did," mumbled Percy, "But did you listen? Oh, no, of course you didn't. Why should Leo Valdez ever listen to what silly Percy Jackson has to say? Absolutely no reason whatsoever. Nope. Don't blame me. I tried to tell you, but you thought it would be all right, didn't you? Just a group of teenagers on vacation, you said. Zeus won't pay any attention, you said…" his voice trailed off at the sight of a huge building looming through the mist.

Leo whistled. "Wow. That is quite the house. I wouldn't mind living in a house like that. Very impressive."

"Yeah… guys? Something's weird here. Like, really weird. I think we should go in the opposite direction from that house."

"What's the matter?" Percy asked.

"Well… I'm getting a massive gold reading. So big I don't even have to concentrate to feel it. There's probably close on a billion dollars' worth of gold here. Whoever lives here is _really_ rich. But that's not all. Some of the gold is… pure. Untainted. That sort of metal should be nigh on impossible this close to a big source of pollution—Dublin. I don't know what's going on. It's like nothing I've ever felt."

"Well, I agree with Hazel. Let's turn around."

"I hate to tell you this, Frank, but I'm not sure we could find our way back to where we landed. And anyway, we need directions. We can kill two birds with one stone: find out how to get to the nearest village, and find out why Hazel is getting such strange readings."

"Okay…" said Frank nervously.

They padded slowly up the hill, Frank starting at every shadow that flickered, every animal that stirred. The mist swirled around them, but contrary to laws of fiction worldwide failed to be mysteriously ominous. It simply made them slightly wet.

By the time they reached Fowl Manor they were tired, damp, and irritated.

Domovoi Butler pushed back his chair and stared at his employer.

"What?" he said finally, always a bad word to use in the presence of Artemis Fowl II.

Artemis allowed a flicker of irritation to cross his otherwise blank face.

"You heard me. There is a group of teenagers coming up the hill toward us. There is hardly anywhere else they could be headed. There is nothing noticeably odd about them, except the fact that they are approaching a heavily guarded—although they are not to know that—mansion without being invited. They don't appear to be intoxicated, and they are clearly not from around here."

"Clearly?" Butler raised an eyebrow, a talent he'd perfected at the cost of dozens of hours' practice in Morocco.

"Yes. I doubt that any sober teenagers from around here would approach this particular manor without invitation. We have a reputation, Butler. A reputation," he smirked, "that is not, I believe, entirely due to your own fine self. It appears I have become rather infamous in the district. I'm sure I don't know what I could have done to have earned such notoriety."

"Yes," muttered Butler, not entirely under his breath, "It couldn't be your patronizing attitude, or the various art thefts and expeditions with fairies you've taken part in over the years. People might not know about most of it, but it does create a certain atmosphere."

Artemis eyed him balefully.

"The point is, Butler, that with the rest of the family out, I am left with the charming opportunity of talking to a group of people my age. Do you see the problem?"

Butler had to admit that there was a problem. If anyone wrote a book called Saying Hello for Dummies, Artemis Fowl the Second would be first in line among the world's teenagers who could best make use of it.

"Listen, Butler," he said, "Frankly, I am tired, and I do not feel particularly enthusiastic about being laughed at by a group of idiot adolescents. I am going to get this over with as quickly as possible."

"Yes," Butler nodded, "but… Artemis, be careful. These people look rather odd on the cams."

Artemis gave his vampire smile. "Butler, I hardly think that you need give me advice on when to be cautious. I have learned that lesson many times over. Thank you, however, for your concern."

Butler just eyed him for a moment, worrying slightly about his young charge. Certainly, what Artemis said was true, but still… Butler fretted that Artemis was altogether too confident in some situations, and he was certain that the juvenile genius would eventually pay the price.

_But I'll be there to make sure the price isn't too heavy_, he thought.

"Could you keep an eye on me through the hall's surveillance cameras? I have the feeling that this may not go well, and I would like to have you around for back-up."

"Of course, Artemis. I would have done so anyway."

Artemis smiled again, although this time it was more genuine. "I know, old friend. Holly has told me many times how lucky I am to have a friend such as you to guard my back. She has also informed me that she doubts I would have survived kidnapping her if it weren't for you." He looked slightly miffed at that, but it boosted Butler's spirits.

"Really?" he said lightly, "Holly said that?"

"Oh, yes. She did. And now, it is time for me to go downstairs and try to survive my fellow adolescents."


	2. Death Takes a Taxi

** Hey everyone! I hope you all like this chapter! PLEASE review! I got three follows on the last chapter and only one review. I know, **_**what on earth?! **_**So let's get lots of reviews! Encouragement, constructive criticism, ideas… you name it.**

** Okay, I admit it: I made up the Random theory (I think). It was mainly based off the Improbability Drive from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.**

**Thanks a lot to my one reviewer, Nutrire.**

** Dislaimer: I'm not Colfer. Neither am I Riordan. I'm Kerowyn6.**

** Enjoy!**

"Okay. Now, we're going to be polite, right? Leo, if you make a single inappropriate comment I will never bring you any spare machinery parts ever again. Got it?"

"Whoa! Hold on! There's no need to be that fierce!"

Piper gave him a Look.

"Yes, Piper," Leo mumbled.

"Good," Piper squared her shoulders and stepped toward the door, "Now, I think it would be better if I do the talking, so the rest of you, just—try to look friendly."

Before she could knock, the door swung open, revealing a pale youth with dark blue eyes and ebony hair.

"Hello. How may I help you?" he said abruptly.

"Well—" Piper was rather taken aback, "We're looking for directions to the nearest town that has a hotel."

"Ah. Well, that would be Dublin. Do you have a car? If not I suggest you camp out; Dublin is quite a ways a way, at least by foot. Good day."

And with that, he shut the door.

Piper hammered on the door, which swung open again.

"Wait! We don't have any camping supplies! Could we—could we use your phone to call a taxi please?"

The youth rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said, "Come on inside."

He opened the door wider, grudgingly, and Piper and the rest stepped inside.

"Wow," said Leo, admiring the décor, "This is… just, wow." Piper elbowed him.

"Shut up, Leo," she whispered, then turned their reluctant phone-provider, "Thank you so much. I'm Piper McLean, what's your name?"

"Artemis Fowl," said Artemis, without turning around, "the Second."

"Umm… nice to meet you, Artemis. Thank you very much for letting us use your phone."

"You're welcome. It's over there," he said, gesturing.

"What's the local taxi company's number?" she asked Artemis.

"01 676 1111," said Artemis, closing his eyes with a look of supreme exasperation on his face. Hazel and Frank exchanged an impressed look. Certainly neither of them would have been able to quote the taxi number without thinking.

"Thanks..." Piper said as she disappeared through the doorway Artemis had pointed out. She came back a few minutes later looking satisfied.

"That's done with, then," she said, "Thanks a lot, Artemis. I appreciate it. Our cab's coming in half an hour. We'll be going. Again, thanks so much. Nice to meet you. Bye."

And with that Piper turned, beckoned to the rest of the group, and dragged Leo out of the manor, to tumultuous protests along the lines of 'But did you see that antique car engine? If I could have just a moment to study it…'

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Artemis' mood was not helped by the fact that Butler was clearly trying hard not to smile.

"See, Artemis?" Butler said, "Nothing to worry about. Unless you ever see them again, in that case you will probably attain a high level of embarrassment," he added wryly.

"_Thank _you for that, Butler. I really needed that," said Artemis sarcastically.

Uncharacteristically, Butler decided to try to cheer up his charge instead of retreating to the safety of not attempting to make Artemis look on the bright side.

"Look. You said yourself that they aren't from around here. What are the chances of you ever seeing them again?"

"Two-point-four percent chance, although more could be considered if you take the Random Theory into perspective."

"The what theory?"

"The Random Theory. Extensively developed by Professor Nicole Warren of Massachusetts University."

"This Random Theory being…?" persisted Butler.

"If things can happen, they will. Some versions of the theory even go so far as to state that the less chance there is that something will happen, there's more chance that it will. It's quite a paradox, and as I said, it's a theory. It's never been proven."

"So really there's about the same chance of you seeing these people again as there is of them being the half-blood children of some ancient gods."

Artemis started to smile, reluctantly.

"A little more chance, my friend, but I understand your point," he said, "Now, let us return to what we were working on before we were interrupted. I believe we were looking at the financial records of a certain Dogbert A. Johnson. I was inspecting an apparently small detail fault that could indeed prove to be quite a bit more major than Foaly assumed. Now, what do you think, Butler?" he then noticed that his bodyguard had frozen and was staring at the screen of the surveillance camera computer, "Butler?"

"Artemis… I think you should see this…"

Artemis crossed to Butler, stared at the screen for a few seconds, then headed for the door at a sprint, albeit a slow one, for this was Artemis Fowl, and tore down the stairs as fast as he could. Piper was just pushing open the door that led from the cellar when he arrived.

She grimaced when she saw him, but stayed silent until the others had filed into the lavish living-room. Artemis mentally checked them off: Piper, the one she referred to as Leo, the one with black hair and sea-green eyes, the blond boy, the bulky boy, his girlfriend—for Artemis was no stranger to human body language, and had guessed that almost immediately—and the blonde girl with gray eyes. They were all there.

And there was someone with them.

He had olive skin and black hair, and was almost exactly the sort of person Artemis would add to his loath-at-first-sight list. He sported a leather jacket, tattered black jeans, and so much silver Goth jewelry he would have glinted even in the gloom.

Piper stared nervously at Artemis.

"Hello again," she said apprehensively, "I'm really, really sorry about this. It's totally our fault. Anyway," she continued, "this is Nico di Angelo, and we're under attack."


	3. Minors Shouldn't Drive

**Hi everyone! I'm back again! Sorry, this chapter is only Percy Jackson, and mainly Nico at that. (I mean, who doesn't love Nico?) This is the first fight scene. I've never written fights before; my forte is dialogue, so please feel free to give me some pointers!**

**I'd love reviews! Speaking of reviews, guys… **

**TEN REVIEWS! ****TEN! ****I love you guys so much! And sixteen follows! Just a tip: I tend to give sneak-peaks of the upcoming chapter on my profile. :P**

**Please review! Let's see if I can make it to twenty!**

**This is how the PJ people got in Artemis' cellar. **

**Please enjoy!**

The taxi was pulling up when the group arrived at the nearest road. Hazel looked confusedly at the others.

"It wasn't supposed to be here for another twenty minutes, though. Right?" she asked.

Percy nodded. "Yeah. I don't know why it's here now."

"Well, one way to find out," said Annabeth, marching up to the driver's door, "Hello? Why—Oh my gosh. What on earth are you doing here, Nico? How did you find us?"

"No time!" yelped Nico, "Jump in! Quickly!"

Confused, but knowing that if Nico said they were out of time for something then they probably were, they piled into the back of the small Irish taxi. Nico pressed the accelerator and the car roared to a start, jerking madly over the rough ground back toward the manor.

"Nico?!" Percy yelled from the back, "When did you learn to drive?"

"I didn't!" Nico grinned insanely.

Hazel closed her eyes and clenched Frank's arm so hard her fingers went white.

"Ahh!" shrieked Annabeth as they crashed through a topiary, "Slow down, Nico!"

"I can't! No time!"

The overloaded taxi pulled up at Fowl Manor and Hazel sagged out, collapsing on the pavement, her face green.

"Nico," she said weakly, "I never ever want to see you drive again."

But Nico was glancing around nervously, clearly looking for something. Then his eyes widened.

"Guys?" he said quietly, "Okay. Hazel, when I tell you, get us a tunnel into the cellar of the manor. Really quickly. The rest of you, follow her. Got it?"

Hazel swallowed nervously. "Yeah. There's one I think would work pretty well. What about you?"

"I'm going to lead them off. I'll meet you in the cellar. Hazel, once you're all safe and out of the tunnel, I want you to focus really hard on me. Everyone knows what to do? Good. Now RUN!"

They need no further urging. Hazel sprinted to the hedge and disappeared into a small gap mostly covered by the leaves, Frank and the others dropped down after her. Nico turned and sprinted as fast as he could back toward the taxi, glancing back once at the tunnel where Hazel and the others had disappeared. He jumped in, revved the engine, and sped away. On the other side of the manor grounds, a gray shape raised its head and started after him.

In the tunnel, a bright light flared suddenly, and everyone spun around.

"Sorrry," Leo mumbled, "I don't like this place. I needed some light."

Annabeth sighed.

"It's all right," she said, "Just tell us when you're going to light up next time, okay? You gave us quite a shock."

"Sorry. I just... well, I don't like this place. At all. Can we get going?"

"Yes," Hazel started, and stared into the gloom, "Good idea."

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Nico glanced in the rearview mirror. His eyes flashed dangerously; he laid a hand on his sword hilt. He muttered to himself, trying to remember everything he could about how to beat the monsters that were chasing him. _The mares of Diomedes..._ Oh, _Ares_. Nico had spent only around six hours total in Monster Class, and that was nearly four years ago.  
_ Okay_, he thought, _they're big carnivorous horses. What else is there to know? Not much. Did Heracles fight them? Probably. No use in asking how he killed them. If Heracles killed them a certain way, it's almost a given that I won't be able to do the same thing._

Well, at least he had a car, albeit a slow one. As long as it didn't run out of gas- he cursed violently as the vehicle puttered to a halt. He scrambled frantically, trying to disentangle himself from the seat-belt. Neighs sounded not far off.

_ You've got to be kidding me,_ he thought to himself, _not even my luck is that bad_. He almost sighed with relief when he saw the arrows sticking out of the tires, until he realized what they meant. The Mares of Diomedes had archers.

Nico finally managed to cut through the seat-belt as the Mare drew up next to the car. He drew his sword- three feet of wickedly sharp Stygian Iron- as the silvery-gray shape bucked, the whites of its eyes showing. Red light flickered around it. _Okay,_ thought Nico, _all I have to do is summon a few skeletons, and voila_

The ground rumbled. Cracks formed; a chasm opened, a passage to the Underworld. Ten bony white shapes climbed jerkily up to the land of the living, brandished glittering black swords, and charge the Mare. The horse took one disinterested look at them, and snapped them up one by one. The crack of snapping bones rang around the peaceful Irish countryside.

Then the Mare belched.

"What?!" shrieked Nico, "You ATE them? You can't just EAT my skeletons!"

If horses could raise their eyebrows, if they even had eyebrows, the Mare's would have been raised.

"All right, fair enough, you just did. Could you not eat me? That would be great."

And without waiting for an answer, he swung the sword in an overhand stroke at the horse, who cantered hurriedly out of the way.

_ All I need to do is keep chasing this horse, and eventually, I'll catch it.._

He'd forgotten about the archers.

Three arrows whistled out of nowhere, their black shafts shining. Nico jumped out of the way, and then rolled to avoid another two. Anytime now, Hazel, he thought, I really need you...

The Mare reared, lashing out at Nico, who lay, helpless, on the ground, clutching his sword, trying ineffectively to defend himself against the oncoming hooves.

Suddenly, a presence identified itself in his mind, dark with worry. Hazel, he thought, she did it. He latched frantically onto the presence, searching for the shadows. Finally, he found them, and pulled himself through them to where Hazel and the others were waiting, nervously, in Artemis Fowl's wine cellar.


	4. Dew in the Morning Sun

**Sorry, guys. This chapter isn't very interesting, but I needed a scene that was more realistic, not just vital information and action. So, enjoy as much as you can, and if you have ideas for what could happen next, don't hesitate to tell me!**

**One more thing. Guys, I was so unbelievably happy when Chapter 2 got eight reviews, and then Chapter 3 only got two, and I was like, **_**what?**_** So please, review!**

**A special thanks to angelslaugh, whose name I don't pretend to understand, who is a consistent reviewer who also followed me! Yay! A big cheer for angelslaugh!**

"What is the meaning of this?" Artemis asked of the assembled teenagers.

"Exactly what I said," said Piper, taking a deep breath,"We're under attack. Nico can tell you about it."

She nodded at Nico. Artemis' eyes narrowed.

"Under attack?" he asked, "What from?"

Nico opened his mouth to reply, but the blonde cut him off.

"We... don't know.

Artemis frowned at the hesitation, but didn't mention it. Instead, he said:

"How did you come to be in my cellar?"

Again, the pause.

"There was some... falling-in ground! The floor was collapsing and we managed to get through!"

She's lying, thought Artemis.

"Butler?" he said aloud, "Could you come down here? I'm- well, I'm not sure what's going on, to be honest."

He smiled at the small gasp of surprise Piper emitted when Butler's huge frame became visible over the top of the mahogany staircase. Certainly these teenagers would never have met anyone like Butler.

I take that back, he thought as he heard Percy whisper to Annabeth 'He's like Tyson but with more eyes...'. _Tyson_, mused Artemis. _Someone they know who's Butler's size, but has either one or no eyes? Interesting._

"Well?" Butler broke Artemis out of his reverie, "What under the earth are you doing here? And what's this yarn about you falling through the ground into the cellar?"

"It's not a yarn!" exclaimed Piper, and when Artemis looked skeptically at her she tried again, "It's perfectly true, and we're very sorry about it."

The force of her voice took Artemis by surprise. For a moment he thought he was being mesmerized, but then he realized that her voice was no more beautiful than before, just very, very powerful. That's all right then, he thought, she's right, of course. They didn't mean to fall through the floor. The voice in the back of his mind, however, said differently. He, or something he thought was himself, told it to shut up. With a sigh, it did.

Artemis shook his head, clearing it of the fog that seemed to have momentarily filled it. He watched for a moment as Butler swayed and then came to his normal stance again, a guilty expression on his face.

"Yes," he said, "She's right, Artemis. It's not their fault that the ground gave way."

A doubt niggled in the back of Artemis' mind. He focused on it, knowing that it could very well be important. There! He had it! But Butler was already walking away with the group asking them what it was they had been saying about an attack. And the thought was fading away, like dew in the morning sun. _Ah, well,_ he thought, _I'm sure it will come back in an hour or two._

But, the voice in the back of his head persisted in saying, we might not have that much time.

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Piper had only tried charmspeak because she was feeling desperate. Normally she would never have entranced innocent mortals into providing momentary hospitality, or at least, absence of hostility, but she felt that this was an occasion that merited a special dispensation.

They were trapped in a manor, miles away from anyone they knew, with a couple of normally hostile Irishmen, defending said Irishmen from monsters, and trying to do all this without letting the Irishmen figure out about the existence of Greek and Roman gods. And they had to figure out why Hazel had gotten such strange readings.

Oh, dear.

And then there was what had happened in the cellar. Think hard about me, Nico had instructed Hazel. And apparently she had, for here he was. Nico, with his black sword and slightly insane expression, scared Piper, and the fact that he could yank himself from place to place just by having his half-sister think about him scared her even more. In all probability, she rationalized, there was some totally separate method that had enabled Nico to be with them in the cellar. She wasn't sure if she wanted to find out what it was.  
She glanced back over her shoulder as the huge man led them away. There was the extremely irritating boy, staring at a spot in the wall and frowning. Odd, she thought. Almost as thought he was battling the effects of her charmspeak. But then he shrugged and followed them, and Piper breathed a silent sigh of relief. The last thing they needed was a strong-minded mortal intent on interrogating them.

"You all right, Piper?" whispered Jason, "You look a bit pale."

'Yeah," she replied, "I guess I'm just chilly. This place doesn't have good insulation."

In fact, Fowl Manor had top-notch insulation straight out of the best manufacturing companies in the world, but Piper didn't want to worry Jason with her doubts any more than she had to. He had enough to worry about at the moment, what with being penned in by man-eating horses.

He frowned and, wordlessly, rapped his red sweater around her. She smiled.

"Thanks..." she whispered. He nodded.

They had come to a hard oak door, which the huge man who, she supposed, was Artemis' butler, since that was what the boy had called him, pushed gently. It swung open softly, revealing a dining room with a long wooden table. Perfect for dinner or, Piper thought wryly, a war council.

Even Annabeth, who Piper knew from experience rarely showed her feelings, looked impressed. Piper realized that this manor was probably a fountain of architectural designs for the daughter of Athena. They filed in, looking around as they did so. Piper was by no means an architect, but even she could see that the entire room was a piece of art, with its high, vaulting ceiling, wide bay windows, and curving walls. Unfortunately, the fog ruined quite a bit of the lighting.

Jason pulled her a seat on the 'door' side of the table and she sat down abruptly, still admiring the room.

"So," said the butler, who Piper thought looked more like a bodyguard, "Fill me in on the details of this attack."

And Piper realized that unless one of them thought of something, they were in trouble. They couldn't tell these mortals that the gods and magic existed, that would create so many problems it would take years to sort it all out. And if she used charmspeak again, her original persuasion would wear off more quickly; the more charmspeak you piled on a person, the sooner they'd return to their senses.

Fortunately, Annabeth was quick to think up explanations, or rather lack thereof.  
"Well, sir, we're not exactly sure what it is," she said politely, with the air of one who is very carefully omitting facts and hoping no one realizes, "We were fired at. Um. With arrows."

Which is the truth, thought Piper, or at least a part of it.

"Arrows?" asked Artemis skeptically, "Do you expect us to believe that someone shot at you with arrows?"

Piper was really starting to hate him.

"Yes," said Annabeth simply, "Because that's what happened. You can believe it or not believe it, but your opinion doesn't change the facts of the matter."

Artemis glared at her for a moment, then turned to the butler and asked him sarcastically:

"Do we know anyone who's an expert shot with the bow?"

Piper noticed that for a moment the butler shook his head slightly, and only then returned the sarcastic question in the same manner.

"Here's the question that bothers me," said Artemis to Annabeth, "Why do you assume that this is an attack on the manor? It sounds to me like it's only you that our unknown opponent is attempting to kill."

From her expression, Piper thought that in any other circumstances Annabeth would have hit herself in the face for not realizing that Artemis would think of this. But, to Piper's admiration, she stayed calm and answered quietly.

"We don't assume that you're under attack. But please, sirs, we need somewhere to stay just for a few hours until we can figure out how to sneak out without being shot at." She sent a wordless glance to Piper as if to say that a few hours was all they needed at the moment, "Please."

Artemis turned to his butler and they seemed to have a private conversation, which consisted mainly of a lot of strained expressions and eye-rolls. Finally, Artemis turned back to the group and said:

"Fine. You can stay. But one thing: there's a guest coming and I'm not going to cancel our dinner just because some adolescents are sheltering from arrows in our manor."


	5. Of Cameras and Meditation

***emerges from behind bookshelf, clearing throat sheepishly* My deepest apologies for not updating in more than a month. I lost my motivation, and then December started and I had tech rehearsals for a musical I'm in, and...**

**Excuse me. You don't want my excuses.**

**By the way, I discovered an absolutely amazing book at the airport. Almost Terry Pratchett-level. Most of you fine people have probably read it. It's called the Book Thief. The narrator is Death, and it's absolutely spectacular. I cried so hard at the end, though... It's about a girl named Liesel Meminger who lives in Germany in World War Two. Her brother dies on the train ride to her new foster home and at his funeral she finds a book lying in the snow called The Gravedigger's Handbook. She doesn't know how to read but with the help of her foster father she develops a love of words and ends up stealing books from Nazi book burnings and eventually the mayor's library. That's part of the plot, but the book is also a commentary on life in WW2 and the fact that almost no one, down to the lady at the corner store, was guiltless in the persecution of Jews and general unpleasantness.**

**I highly recommend it. **

**Goddess Timtam: *makes small sputtering noises while choking on carrot juice* Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmy- you lucky devil. You lucky, lucky devil. I am unbelievably jealous. Vimes rocks! Same with Vetinari! Same with Angua! Same with Carrot! Same with Nobby! Same with every member of the Watch except for Colon because he's racist, sexist, and pretty much everything else ending in -ist and except for Corporal Visit because he's annoying! Same with every member of UU! Same with Maladict and Shufty!**

**One more thing: there's a book I'm writing that I don't feel ready to post on . I put a little bit on my profile, could you tell me what you think? = )**

**I apologize for the unbelievably long AN.**

**Happy [insert holiday here]!**

Annabeth was pacing back and forth across the small room Artemis had let them use to formulate an escape plan. She paused for a moment, long enough to watch Leo fiddle with a security camera in the corner by the bookshelf, and then resumed her pacing.

"If we can get some big pieces of wood to use as shields, the arrows aren't a problem. The problem is the Mare, possibly Mares, of Diomedes." Suddenly, she stopped. "Percy, can you control the Mares long enough for us to get to the nearest town?"

Her boyfriend frowned.

"I don't think so. I've never been able to control horses, just talk to them."

Annabeth sagged.

"Oh. Too bad. Do you think we could outrun the Mare to the nearest town?"

"Definitely not."

"You're probably right. Hmm... I wonder. Nico, could you shadow-travel us to the nearest town?"

Nico laid down the book he had been examining critically.

"I don't think so. Frankly, shadow traveling just me is a piece of cake, same with two people, or even three, but anymore than five I don't think I could do. I could call Mrs. O'Leary, but I think our reluctant hosts might take exception to a giant dog slobbering over everything."

"Yeah," said Annabeth, "That might make them more than a little curious."

"Then do you think we could drive to the nearest town?" asked Percy.

Nico laughed humorlessly.

"With what? The taxi?"

"Yes."

"That taxi is in desperate need of three new tires."

"Oh."

"Annabeth," said Jason tentatively, "Do you think Tempest would be a match for the Mare?"

Annabeth tilted her head.

"Maybe. Actually, with you on him, yes. Get him to the back of the garden. " She stood up excitedly. "That's it, Jason! And the nice thing about Tempest is, unlike Mrs. O'Leary, he can be inconspicuous when he wants to be!"

"I can go on Blackjack as well," said Percy, but Annabeth shook her head.

"I doubt you'd be able to summon him all the way from North America. Sorry, Percy. It'll have to be only Jason."

"Now all we have to do is think up a tale to feed our hosts," said Nico.

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"There's something odd about them, Butler. I don't know what it is. But it's there."

Butler nodded his huge head.

"I agree. It's nothing particular, just a sense. And I know to trust my senses."

"Yes," said Artemis quietly. He frowned and steepled his fingers, leaning against the ebony desk. "Butler?" he said slowly, after a moment's thought. The bodyguard turned to face him. "Remind me why we agreed to let them stay here a few hours."

Butler knit his brow.

"They... fell through the ground. Not their fault," he said thickly.

"And since when do we have easily entered cellars?"

"Since Mulch Diggums first set foot on the property, but I get your point."

"Therefore...?"

Butler's eyes narrowed.

"Get me the guest room surveillance camera on Computer 9," commanded Artemis, "I want to know what they're up to."

Butler switched computers, typed in a few strands of code, and then muttered:

"It's blocked."

Artemis nodded sagely.

"Either there's a bug in the system, which I highly doubt, seeing as I designed it, or it's been tampered with. Pass it to me."

Artemis' fingers flew over the silver keyboard, darting left and right. He chuckled softly.

"Oh, this is clever. Very clever. Whoever did this knows quite a bit about programming."

"Can you break the block?"

"Butler, when I say it is clever, that is exactly what I mean. Clever. Not flawless. Nothing is flawless. And the technology would have to be almost completely flawless to pose a major problem to me."

A few more minutes of tapping, interspersed with bouts of silence as Artemis puzzledthrough the code.

"This is a very odd block," he said finally, "It's like nothing I've seen before. It's built structurally. When I break through one string of code, another takes its place."

"Can you crack it?" asked Butler.

"Oh, yes. Of course. I already have, I set my own bug in the block to stop the code rotation. I'm just waiting for it to take effect. But it's well-built. I'm glad I observed it as I went; I should be able to recreate it later." He sighed. "Ah, there we go."

Butler peered at the screen.

"What under the earth is he doing?" he asked.

"Maybe he thinks meditation really does bring answers," said Artemis airily.

"I've seen real meditation, and it actually does bring answers occasionally, but whether it does or not is beside the point. That's not meditation."

The pair stared until the blond boy came out of what appeared to be a sort of trance.

"Interesting..." said Artemis.

On the screen, the blond boy nodded briefly at the others, easing himself off the wooden floor. His voice, perfectly recorded by the cutting-edge cameras Artemis employed, sounded loudly around the small office.

"He'll be on the grounds, at the back of the house, in ten minutes. That should give us time to think up some reason for our departure."

The curly haired boy with the impish face glanced up suddenly at the camera, a suspicious look on his face. The last thing Artemis and Butler saw was a hand reaching toward them.

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"Guys?" Leo said suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Yes?" asked Annabeth.

"We've been eavesdropped on."

"What?" said Annabeth, surprised, "How? Didn't you do something to the camera?"

"Yeah..." Leo squirmed uncomfortably, throwing his pliers up and then catching them. "But as much as I hate to say it, I think someone managed to get through my bug. I just disabled the camera completely. It's broken now. I didn't want to ruin such a high-tech machine, but..." Pliers up, pliers down.

"You did what you had to, Leo. At least now they can't spy on us. Then again, we have about forty-five seconds before they come barging down here asking what we were doing and why we cared about them watching."

The pliers hit the bed, their tormentor distracted.

"Shoot!" Leo leaned back, slapping himself. "I should have realized!"

Percy grimaced.

"Doesn't matter now. Let's get moving."

"Good idea."

Annabeth pushed herself off the bed and swung the door open.

"Let's get out of here."


End file.
